Hebrews 3:4

"For every house is built by someone, but God is the builder of everything."

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Fear of the Unknown

If I'm being honest on this blog, I should share the good and the not so good, right? So, as excited as we are to build our Connor Home, you should know it is not happening without leaps of faith.

At the end of January, we sent a deposit to Connor Homes to ensure we could qualify for a "Winter Windfall" package they were offering. We only started discussions with them two or three weeks earlier, so things moved quickly. But, in order to make this project viable for us we needed to lock in the discount. This means the house will hit production and be finished no later than July. At this point though, as crazy as it may sound, we had not yet purchased our lot, nor did we have a general contractor officially lined up.

Many moments of prayer and thought did precede this decision though, and we moved forward to purchase the land. We had also been led, I believe, to the man who was meant to build this house for us. He and I first spoke in December when our family was considering modifying a house plan we had found online. He was patient with us through the literal change of "plans", and the waiting while we ironed out the design of our new home with Connor.

Once we got some preliminary floor plans, elevations, and builder specs from Connor Homes, it was time to wait for the bid from our contractor of choice. Today is the day we expect to hear from him and I sense some reservations about the project from him through a recent discussion with my husband. I know I should put my trust in God (whatever the outcome) and lean not on my own understanding... but, I'm human and not without my doubts. I have been an emotional wreck today. If his bid is too high the project could fall apart and we've already placed a sizable, non-refundable deposit on our dream. Thank God for the prayers of old friends and the loving support of new ones which have lifted me through this very, long day of waiting.

The phone call came while my husband was out riding his mountain bike with friends. I reached him on his cell on his way home sometime after 8pm and he returned the call. He pulled in the driveway in mid-discussion, and sat in his car until finished. I watched and waited from inside the house we are renting, wondering if we would be spending another year here.

The bid came in high. But... true to my impressions of this man, he told my husband his reservations were because he felt the project was coming in too high himself. There are a lot of unknowns being the first time either of us has dealt with Connor Homes. He wants to build this house for us and we want him to do it. We are all hopeful and confident that Connor Homes will deliver a quality product and save critical labor costs in the process.

I am so relieved that we are past this initial hurdle. I wish I had trusted in the Lord more for this... I rely on and am thankful for the promise found in Jeremiah 29:11 for each of us.

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